Oh! before I forget:

A HAPPY & PROSPEROUS CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Love,
Cat, Alex, Beauty & Dim Sum

Moving On

Thank you for all your condolences & words of comfort. It is heartening to know that this little kitten has touched your lives.

I am alright now. To be honest, I am in fact, relieved that she finally rests in peace. Consoled that she is now in a happy place. I will miss her, but she continues to live in my heart and in the hearts of Alex, Beauty & Dim Sum.

Its interesting to note that the cats grief in different ways. Beauty just wants to get close to Fudge's things. She spent yesterday in Fudge's bed, sniffing Fudge's toys.

Dim Sum has now moved on. I could tell she was sad yesterday as she was very quiet & spent the day looking out the window, hardly moved from that spot. But now she's back to being her usual self.

I am more concerned about Alex. He hasn't seem to have gotten over his grief. He still pines for Fudge. He'd go from room to room, calling out to her. He due for his long overdue teeth-scaling tomorrow & now I am not sure if he's in the right state of mind to do this. Oh well, lets see what the vet says.

Didn't expert say that women are tougher than men in times of crisis? This obviously extends to cats huh? :)

This month life at home had been all about Fudge, we revolved around her. Now its time to close the chapter & move on with our lives. After all, life still goes on, with or without Fudge.

So, while we stay strong & keep her memories alive in us, now I need to spend some quality time with Alex, Beauty & Dim Sum.

Once again, on behalf of everyone at home, thank you so much.

Take care you all. Love to you & your meowies at home.

Thank You

After fighting to live for almost 40 hours, Fudge eventually passed away today at 12.30am. Alex, Beauty, Dim Sum & I were beside her at her time of passing. She is now in a happy and peaceful place & I am sure our paths will cross in another life.

This kitten totally inspires me. I am in awe of her. Think I have mentioned in my previous posts, Fudge never bows in to her illness, she retains her fighting spirit to the end. We humans, who are supposedly superior, give in to despair readily. The next time, I come across an obstacle in life, I will remember Fudge & her fighting spirit. Face & overcome but never give up.

Thank you to all your posts, your concern, encouragement and your well wishes. On behalf of Fudge, thank you & take care.

Over & out.

Letting Go

Brought Fudge to the vet this evening for her weekly review. She has a fever & hasn't eaten at all today. Her viral infection has spun out of control where antibiotics no longer works. On top of that, her liver is shutting down from all the Tofeline (for her fever) she's been taking.

The vet recommends an ultrasound to determine the location of her viral infection & insists that she should continue with her liver supplement which I had taken her off. Fudge absolutely HATES the supplement. She'd spit it out everytime I feed it to her. The vet also suggests different antibiotics to fight the viral infection.

I decided not to take the vet's instructions. Fudge is dying. No amount of liver supplements, antibiotics and ultrasounds are going to save her. It may buy her some time with us but she's not happier. In fact she'll be miserable. Making her take supplements that she hates, subjecting her to more needles & examination by strangers is just going piss her off big time & not to mention cruel.

& just what is the point of doing all this - so that I can spend more time with her? No. As much I want to, but not at the expense of her comfort. My priority now is to ensure Fudge is as comfortable as possible. I can't do anything about her jaundice but I can fight her fever with Tolfedine even if it means slowly killing her liver. At least with her fever under control, she can eat her favourite food - honey baked ham.

A friend of mine comfort me with these words, "each day that Fudge lives, is a bonus. Live the moment". So true. Everyday with her is a blessing. How lucky I am, to have known her in this lifetime even though it is only for a few short months.

Dim Sum & 'friends' trying out her new bed















Alex (L) & Dim Sum (top) staying by Fudge's side














Beauty sulking after being scolded for bullying Fudge :(

Mistaken Identity

Brought Fudge to the Pet Safari to see the vet last evening.

A girl & her mother passed by. The mom pointed out, "look girl - hamster! so cute hor!"

I raised her cage & said "no, cat, meow meow" as if on cue, Fudge meowed loudly :0) Give me a five girl!

My baby look like hamster meh?

So I am a cat lover .. you have a problem???

I'm a cat lover & I'm proud of it. If you don't like cats, that's fine by me. But have some respect for those who do.

The other day I applied for a day's leave at the last minute to take Alex to the vet. He cried when I touched his right side & I was afraid it could be a fracture. Now he needs someone to take him to the vet right? He can't jolly well take a walk there & tell the vet what is wrong with him, can he? I don't want to wait cos if its a fracture, it needs immediate attention.

Anyway, it turned out to be just a bruise, the vet gave him a shot of painkillers & sent us home. Since that took only a couple hours, I figured I might as well go back to work (managed to save 1/2 day leave! hee).

Anyway, got to office, was asked by the kaypoh colleagues what happen, why take leave etc etc. 1 smart aleck said "no child leave take cat leave izzit?? hiak hiak hiak"

What's wrong with taking annual leave to look after my cats? Is not that I'm taking time off or skiving! Bloody hell. Really feel like slapping that idiotic smile off her stupid face.

Another one actually said "you have cats! well, its good to have a hobby" EXCUSE ME?!?!?! a pet is a hobby??? I guess her kids are extra curriculum activities then. Just how dumb are these people???????

Kanasai! & jumbo ones at that.

Good Days & Bad Ones

Like humans with terminal illness, Fudge has her good & bad days.

On a good day, she takes an interest in life around her, tries her best to participate in the play activities, eats relatively well.

On a bad day, she sleeps more than usual, can't eat more than a bite of food.

But whether its a good day or a bad one, there's two things that doesn't change. 1) She's damn fierce .. complains when she's interrupted whether its play or sleep or when taking her medication. Its a daily battle to feed her her medicine & supplements. 2) Her tenacity to live & love. Despite her complains, she swallows her medicine like an obedient girl, never once ever throwing up. She forces herself to eat even if its just a morsel of food. She'd still perk up at slightest sound even though she's too tired to move. She'd still come to come to my bed at night even though she has her own bed & is sometimes weak to walk. She'd kiss Dim Sum when Dim Sum comforts her & keeps her company.

Sometimes a good day maybe just a couple of hours & then it turns for the worse. Just like this morning. She gets her breakfast with rest of the gang at 6.30am. She ate her usual quantity (which is not much these days - abt a teaspoon of Fancy Feast). She asked for more. I gave her another teaspoon & then she asks for more. & so another teaspoon. This is most she has eaten in 1 sitting in the last 2-1/2 weeks. I was so happy I did a little jiggy dance in the kitchen.

My part-time help now comes in everyday to feed Fudge at noon. Fudge couldn't eat anymore. She ate less than a teaspoon of food & is back to her lethargic state. Abby (my help) said in her sms "Fudge had 1 bite at her food & then go back to sleep". Maybe she ate too much at breakfast .. maybe its a bad day. Only Fudge knows.

The Lovebirds














Beauty peeping over

Now @ 3-1/2 mths ,,,

Growing Pains

Fudge @ 4 weeks with her siblings
















Fudge @ 6 weeks

Upstairs downstairs: Fudge @ 8 weeks with mommy

Fudge

Much as been said about Alex, Beauty & Dim Sum but not much about Fudge. She's a baby afterall. But that's really shortchanging her isn't it? "Just cos I'm a baby doesn't mean I don't have a story to tell!"

So, here's the story of Fudge, or Baby as I love to call her. Fudge came into my life in Oct 2005 with mommy Dim Sum & her siblings - Fitzgerald (Mr Grand), Fargo (Ms Beautiful) & Fisher (Mr Energizer). Fudge is the baby of the litter. She was only a few days old, so tiny that she fits comfortably in the plam of my hand.

Fudge Baby

Being the baby, she was the weakest link. First to fall ill, last to learn anything. Typical in the animal kingdom, where the fittest survives, it became obvious that Fudge was not Dim Sum's favourite kitty. She got kicked, shoved aside, fed last. But this tiny little creature is resilient. She never gives up. She kept going for that designated nipple, whether being kicked or not. It took almost a month before Dim Sum paid real attention to Fudge.

But I made up for all the lost love. I would nurse her when she was ill, cuddle her in my palm, walk her around the house, talk to her, clean her. Alex would groom her, sleep with her & play with her. She became our baby.










Alex (L) with Baby Fudge (R)

Fudge may be the baby of the household but she's no pushover. She is a feisty kitten. She screams, hollers & demands. Fudge is an integral part of our lives. Dim Sum, Alex & Fudge are now the 3 muskateers, coming together to fight the big fat cat aka Beauty. Life was good.

That is, until she fell very ill last week. She became lethargic & weak, lost interest in everything. Did an x-ray & found fluids in her body. Fudge is FIP positive.

FIP is a viral disease that affect the many systems of the cat, spread mainly through faeces. It is deadly & there is no cure for FIP. It comes in 2 forms - dry (non-effusive) & wet (effusive). There many debates on the internet as to how a FIP cat should be treated & handled. The vet gave me strict instructions that Fudge is to be isolated with immediate effect until she passes away.

Well, I can't. I can't bring myself to tear this close-knit unit apart. My argument is simple. Alex, Beauty & Dim Sum would already have been exposed to the virus. Although there are 4 litter bins in the house - they use the bins interchangeably. Separating the cats now is not only cruel but causes stress which just makes the matter worse. Right now, the rest have not shown any signs of the disease & I keep my fingers tightly cross that everything will work out fine for them.

Fudge will die soon, in the next few weeks or at most, a couple of months if she's tenacious. The only thing I can do is to make sure her last days are happy days filled with lots of love & cuddles from all of us.