Sunday morning in London, my boss' mom passed away peacefully in her sleep. When he emailed the news to me, I wasn't surprised for she had been ill for a long long time. Still, I cried. I cried not only for his loss, but for anyone who has lost a loved one.
To me, losing a loved one is the saddest and most painful thing for anyone to experience & the truth is, nobody can run away from it.
My dad passed away 4 years ago, unexpectedly. One evening he was admitted to the hospital to treat an ulcer & the next morning he passed away. It turned out, his ulcer raptured & he haemorraghed sometime in the middle of the night, in his sleep. The doctors assured us he didn't wake up, he died in his sleep. We just took the doctors' word for it.
For those of you who have lost a loved one, you know people will always try to console you & tell you that you'll get over it. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their good intentions but let me tell you, those who said that, never lost a loved one. If they have, they'd know that YOU DON'T GET OVER IT. Yes, the grieve will slowly cease to hurt but there has never been a day that has gone by, that I don't think of my dad. Everything that I do, I would ask myself if he would have approved, if he would have been amused, what he might said etc.
Even Fudge, I still miss her. She passed away a week shy from her 4th month birthday. Although she had only been with me for a few short months, she left a deep imprint in my life. Sometimes when I look at Junior (who is just about a month younger), I would think to myself, "Fudge would be doing exactly that, if she's here now."
So you see, you never get over it. But by holding on to the good memories helps to deal with the lost better. Life goes on and I am a firm believer that our paths with our loved ones are intertwined. So, we will meet each other again. Soon.
To me, losing a loved one is the saddest and most painful thing for anyone to experience & the truth is, nobody can run away from it.
My dad passed away 4 years ago, unexpectedly. One evening he was admitted to the hospital to treat an ulcer & the next morning he passed away. It turned out, his ulcer raptured & he haemorraghed sometime in the middle of the night, in his sleep. The doctors assured us he didn't wake up, he died in his sleep. We just took the doctors' word for it.
For those of you who have lost a loved one, you know people will always try to console you & tell you that you'll get over it. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their good intentions but let me tell you, those who said that, never lost a loved one. If they have, they'd know that YOU DON'T GET OVER IT. Yes, the grieve will slowly cease to hurt but there has never been a day that has gone by, that I don't think of my dad. Everything that I do, I would ask myself if he would have approved, if he would have been amused, what he might said etc.
Even Fudge, I still miss her. She passed away a week shy from her 4th month birthday. Although she had only been with me for a few short months, she left a deep imprint in my life. Sometimes when I look at Junior (who is just about a month younger), I would think to myself, "Fudge would be doing exactly that, if she's here now."
So you see, you never get over it. But by holding on to the good memories helps to deal with the lost better. Life goes on and I am a firm believer that our paths with our loved ones are intertwined. So, we will meet each other again. Soon.
posted by Cat at 11:53 AM
6 Comments:
Well said, Cat, well said.
I know exactly what you mean. It's never going to get to the 'gotten over' stage.
Years have passed, but I still miss those who have passed on - chicks, mice, hamsters, rabbits, cats, fish.
My memories have faded and blurred over time, yes, but that hollow feeling of missing, longing for them to be still here, that's still a familiar knot.
I like what you said esp, in the last para. Take heart, Cat, I know I will because of that anticipated meeting in the future - well, unless I end up in the other place =P
Thanks for this, Cat.
Hold close those memories that have deeply touched your heart ...
We completely agree with you. Yes, you must move on, but you never leave the memories of those lost to you behind. Rather, you take them with you to reflect and ponder as new experiences occur.
-Marina, Zeus, and Isis
actually, i dont know of anyone who consoles by saying "You'll get over it", except when it's 失恋。
but you're right, no one gets over the death of a loved one.
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